Happy Halloween a few days late! I hope you all are enjoying raiding your kids’ Halloween candy while they sleep peacefully, none the wiser that the fruits of their labor are being depleted with absolutely zero remorse.
Perhaps it’s Kit Kats talking, but I honestly think that Halloween may be the greatest holiday of all the holidays. As I finish that sentence, the people that post on Facebook about how there are 12 more Fridays until Christmas or already have their trees up and shopping done are completely losing their shit. Listen, Christmas is awesome. I love the music, houses decorated in lights (preferably colored lights), Christmas movies, the excitement on Christmas Eve, and yada yada yada. But if we’re honest with ourselves, there are a lot of things not to love about it because even though it’s a great holiday, it is also a very high maintenance one.
Why Halloween is better:
A List I Made Off the Top of My Head as I Lick Chocolate Off My Fingers and Ignore the Fact That The Dog is Staring at Me Longingly Wanting a Taste:
The weather. I’m down with a white Christmas on actual Christmas but what I’m not down with is shlepping kids around for the entire month of December and dealing with the constant back and forth of “do I keep their winter coat on while they’re in the carseat? Is someone watching me? It is 25 flipping degrees out and the car is freezing. Ugh. Why is this even a thing? Someone just posted a vide to Facebook about what happens in a car accident if they’re wearing a puffy coat. WHY DID I EVEN BUY THEM A WINTER COAT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?” And while this inner dialogue is running the kids are screaming because, well, carseats are torture devices, not life-saving necessities. Halloween, and the month of October, is a grab bag of weather that usually errs on the side of awesome. You can have your warm t-shirt days, or the perfectly crisp fall days that call for riding boots and my newfound love: blanket scarves (seriously get one if you don’t have one already)
The activities: Apple picking, Pumpkin patches, apple cider donuts, petting zoos, and hay rides. Parades, parties, Boo at the Zoo, Haunted Houses, and of course, Trick or Treating. And guess what? Back to point #1, most of this stuff is enjoyed outdoors! Yes, the month of December has a lot of activities too. Case in point, back in July I signed up the family for what I’m sure will be a disastrous ride on the Polar Express. Yes I had to buy tickets in July because this is an event that sells out in HOURS. Pumpkin patches don’t sell out, but I digress. Also, most of the activities are indoors where the winter germs fester and involve Santa. Kids don’t always like Santa, but they know that they need him. Like my nephew who screamed at a breakfast with Santa last year “I DON’T LIKE THAT SCARY OLD MAN!”
The attire. If you posted a picture of you, your kids, your family, your dog, the staff at Dunkin Donuts, or whomever in a costume over the course these past few days I probably either liked or loved it. And I am genuine in that. I frigging love costumes. I am in awe of people that are by far much more creative than I could ever hope to be. My ovaries throb (well, not that much) when there’s a squishy little nugget shoved into an oversized costume. With Christmas, you see one holiday dress you see them all. I get it. I shop at Carter’s too. And yeah, I had a coupon for 25% off myself. Yes, they are still adorable but I would rather see pumpkins, and super heroes, and Elsas any day than yet another kid in plaid or sparkles. (below are some adorable kiddos in cute costumes that my friends let me share)
Gifts: At Halloween, I don’t have to buy anyone shit. That makes me sound like a Grinch, which I swear I’m not, but it gets exhausting when you are the sole person responsible for doing all of the shopping and you have to find obscure gifts for relatives you don’t really know and you do the Bath & Body Works gift set copout. Not to mention it’s expensive. So expensive. And I am one of those people that will start early but then sort of forget that I bought something for them and continue to buy buy buy. For Halloween, I threw down a cool $7 at CVS for some Reese’s Pumpkins and called it a day. Even better, other people give my kids stuff and they love it. AJR gets just as excited by a Twizzler as he does Hot Wheels. Swear to you.
Boney: This decorative dachshund skeleton is the new light of my life. Christmas does not have a Boney. Halloween does. Advantage: Halloween. (Although Christmas at my house may indeed for a Boney because I don’t know if I can quit him. Cue the Boney montage!!)
Stress. There is pretty much ZERO stress on Halloween. Ok, that’s not entirely true. There was a tense moment during trick or treating when AJR was not scurrying up to the houses fast enough and the candy he was getting was crap and I thought to myself “Dear God, am I going to have nothing??” Crisis averted, the candy got progressively better and he got into it much more and ran as fast as those little costumed legs would take him. Christmas is pretty much defined by stress unless you’re under the age of 18. Someone has to make it magical and perfect and it sure as hell ain’t Santa. It’s mom. Each day gone on the advent calendar is another reminder that you have all the things to do in addition to all of the non-Christmas things you usually have to do. Even the kids have the stress of not acting like assholes unless they want to end up with a lump of coal in their stocking or get harassed by the Elf on the Shelf that causes a shitload of mischief but never seems to get in trouble for it.
Family / travel. Halloween = ZERO TRAVEL. Show me a person that actually got a call from a relative in another state that said “What?? You’re not coming home for Halloween??” that resulted in not speaking to someone for weeks. You won’t because IT DOESN’T HAPPEN ON HALLOWEEN! Sadly, all of my side of the family is in Ohio. And my parents are divorced. So while I love love love going back to see everyone, it is so exhausting running from place to place trying to get in enough quality time with everyone. And on the years when we don’t travel for Christmas, it admittedly gets very lonely. Halloween is strictly fun spent in your own neighborhood, strolling down the blocks you’re familiar with and exercising the option to trick or treat with friends where you potentially enjoy a drink in your travel coffee mug that is most definitely not coffee and most definitely not something you should let the kids have a sip of unless you want them to sleep very very well that night.
The Let Down: The day after Christmas is downright depressing. Unless you’re shopping, in which case it’s great! There is so much hype and build up to the big day that when it’s over, you’re left with nothing but a long, cold January and February. With Halloween, there are two holidays to look forward to! And more eating. And drinking. And partying. It’s great! Things only go up from there.