Let Me Tell You About My Best Friend

As fair warning to stop reading now, this is pretty much going an open love letter to my best friend. It’ll be mushy and sappy and have so many feelings that it’s gag worthy.
I’m in a glass case of emotion because after five days of basking in her awesomeness, having her serve as the primary playmate of my 2.5 year old, and giggling lots and lots – we had to say goodbye. And it stinks having to say goodbye to your bestie. Also, hormones and exhaustion make anything – even TV commercials – more emo.

Lindsay has been my best friend for the past 25 years. She befriended me even though I had a horrific mullet and bangs that started at the back of my head and came forward in a blunt, straight edge across my forehead. We have four inside jokes that never cease to amuse us. We’ve gone to elementary school, high school, and college together. My mom rests easier at night knowing that she is my friend. She’s adopted my kids as her nephew and niece and spoils them as such. She is the only person (other than myself, husband, and our kids) that has won over the frigid heart of our bitchy dachshund, Ruby. She is an unofficial member of my extended family and I swear when people hear her name at family gatherings there is always a fond sigh. She’s plotted to whack any guy I ever dated with the exception of my now husband and with good reason. When I heard Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings” for the first time there is only one person that came to mind: Lindsay.

That's a great wash on those jeans

That’s a great wash on those jeans

Lindsay is my Constant. If you’re not a LOST fan I apologize because this analogy is going way over your head. To summarize, there is a guy, Desmond, who randomly travels through time and can’t always control it. The love of his life, Penny, is his “constant” which means he needs to make contact with her to keep from dying. I’m pretty sure I butchered that, but LOST was a weird f’ing show and it’s been awhile, so sorry if the rails are falling off a bit (here’s the whole explanation of that episode if you really want to read). In the episode, a Desmond from the past tells Penny to be at her phone on some random Christmas Eve in the future. He calls,she picks up and they both start crying because they are totally in love and he’s not going to die. No lie, I cried harder at this episode than I did the birth of my children. Mostly because watching that episode didn’t require me to get stitches, but also because it was so f’ing moving. Lindsay would be the person I would call on Christmas Eve if I was time traveling. And yes, we would both sob hysterically on our respective ends of the line.

Great. Now I want to rewatch LOST. Because I have all this free time.

Great. Now I want to re-watch LOST. Because I have all this free time.

She is the sort of friend that when she knows you may have a nervous breakdown from traveling solo with your kids, says “what a coincidence! I’m going to be in Ohio the same time you are! How about I fly back with you to New Jersey and visit?” FYI, she had no plans to visit her family in Ohio at that time and she was in NJ less than 24 hours.  I’m sure it was mostly out of concern for the children’s safety but also not wanting to see me get added to the “no fly” list.

Any friend that helps you wrangle two kids at the beach is one worth keeping. Forever.

Any friend that helps you wrangle two kids at the beach is one worth keeping. Forever.

She is the sort of friend that vetoes much more travel enticing options and has spent the last four Julys coming to visit me and her other East Coast-based friends. The visits have gotten progressively less exciting as my brood has expanded but in typical Lindsay fashion, that hasn’t bothered her one bit. She is truly content (at least that’s what she tells me) watching my kids act like maniacs by day and spending the evenings watching Bravo or going to see a movie because she knows this is probably the only movie I’ll see in the theater all year. She also visits us at least one other time during the year because she is amazing and awesome and we haven’t scared her away yet.


She is the sort of friend where she knows me, my history, my family, all of my ups, all of my downs, my likes, my dislikes, and my insane personality quirks (which her and my husband then use to make fun of me in an endearing “Oh that’s so Lynn” sort of way). There’s no judging, no putting on airs. Our friendship is easy, comfortable, and we each think the other is pretty much the best thing to ever happen to friends.

I haven’t done her justice, but if you know her, you’ve been nodding your head through this entire thing. I hope everyone has a Lindsay in their life. I hope that both of my children can meet their “Lindsay” as early as possible so that they can grow up knowing that they have the unconditional love of a best friend that is in it for the long haul – bad haircuts notwithstanding. As corny as it is, she truly she puts the “best” in best friend. Here’s to another amazing visit and counting down to the next!




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